No matter which festival you go to, you’ll always find those typical festival-goers. You know the type – the ones who go too hard and ruin it for themselves. The ones who always seem to lose their friends. The ones who walk around like they’re Kylie Jenner with a face full of filler and an ego full of self-importance.

But no matter the festival, you can bank on the fact that these 5 types of festival-goers will be there, and you’re probably lying to yourself if you can’t identify with at least one of them.

So the question is, which one are you?

1. The Juiced Up Ultra Boys:

The jaw-swingers up the front of the mosh who spend most of the day gabbering, sweating and chatting up girls by telling them how much they lift and how they only take pure ketamine. They’ll usually arrive in groups of four with their shirts off, triple layered tans on and shorts that are two sizes too small to best show off their juiced up bods.

Festival of choice: Ultra Music Festival, Rolling Loud, Electric Gardens, Download Festival

2. The Wannabe Insta Famous:

Works in reception but plans on quitting to become a full time Instagram influencer. Only drinks vodka sodas and overpriced, watered-down cocktails. Their Instagram Stories go for at least 1 hour and consist of selfies and blurry videos of them singing the wrong words to whichever song is playing in the background. Their festival preparation includes a hard-core regime of booty barre classes four times a week and YouTube-ing lessons in Facetune and Photoshop.

Festival of Choice: Splendour in the Grass, Falls Festival, Coachella

3. The Hot Mess:

The Hot Mess can be seen wearing fishnets under shorts and looking as if they’ve rolled themselves in glitter and hot Cheetos. You’ll catch them in the mosh drinking warm vodka that they’ve somehow snuck in and asking to sit on anyone’s shoulders in exchange for ciggies. They’ll usually end the night with a dead phone, crying about their ex and throwing up out the side of the Uber that they didn’t pay for.

Festival of Choice: Electric Gardens, Ultra Music Festival, Rolling Loud

Image of grungy girl at Splendour in the Grass festival
Source: Music Feeds

4. Girl Group:

The biggest lightweights and the loudest girls at any festival. The ‘woo girls’ scream whenever their favourite song comes on and have to document every second of the festival via Snapchat or it didn’t happen. They’re the ones who coordinate their outfits for festivals (#pinkday) and walk around annoyingly holding hands, making everyone walk under them instead of just letting go.

Festival of Choice: Splendour In The Grass, Coachella

5. The Braindead Bender-er:

The Braindead Bender-er – the ones who can drink anyone under the table but somehow never get a hangover. You’ll never catch them sleeping or eating at any point during the entire weekend and they will call anyone that does a pussy. They are always down for a shoey even out of someone else’s shoes and drinks VB to be ironic even though they actually hate it. Their festival outfit usually consists of Dr. Martens and ripped jeans and they always seem to look dirty and smell like ciggies, even after a shower.

Festival of choice: Field Day, Laneway, Splendour in the Grass

Sound like someone you know? Or maybe it’s you? Whether you’re the Hot Mess or one of the Ultra Boys, we’ve all lost our friends at some point during a festival.

So save yourself from missing out on your favourite set while you’re off looking for your runaway friend and get the SearchParty app before your next festival. Create a private Party with your crew and never worry about losing them again.


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